Dare to live like a well-loved child
When my son Christian was a little boy, one of his favorite things to do was to burst into a room shouting, “Ta-da!” at the top of his lungs. He took great delight in presenting himself, whether he was in his best clothes or just a diaper. It never occurred to him that we would be anything but thrilled to see him! That picture is still vivid in my mind today. Some of Christian’s exuberance was his personality, but I wonder if every child comes into this world with a God-given “Ta-da!” inside. If that is true, what happens to squelch that beautiful confidence and replace it with a need to hide?
For some, one single event can silence that shout; for others it seems to get washed away over the years with the drip, drip, drip of shame and self-doubt. For me, the need to understand why I feared being known became a brick wall that I needed to break through to move forward with all that God wanted for me. Beneath each brick was the fear that had held it there like cement for years and with the removal of each one came the questions;
• What is it that I am afraid people might find out about me?
• Why do I keep people at a distance?
• Why do I assume that if I let people in they would be disappointed and leave?
• Why do I fear rejection so intensely that I remove myself from the equation before anyone else gets to “vote me off the island”?
Do these questions resonate with you? Do you ever feel that you don’t belong? Do you believe that if people knew all about you they would reject you? Are there parts of your life you have buried deep inside you because you are ashamed of them?
One thing that continues to surprise me is the commonality of so many of our struggles.
One thing that continues to amaze me is the courage of so many of you who write and tell me your story of how you too have chosen to take a risk and be known.
One thing that never changes is the love of our Father who waits to lavish his love on each one of us who will dare to come like a child, believing they are loved.
If your journey is like mine, then here’s a little “heads-up”-don’t be surprised if there’s a “Ta-da” still in you. It’s there in every well-loved child.
Sheila,
Dave Thrush here. That's an awesome post! I'm speaking to someone right now that I think feels this way and shouldn't. Great work!
Thanks!
thanks Dave:)
Boy Sheila, you sure know how to let God speak through you in a timely manner. Last night as I lay in my bed these were exactly the thoughts that were going through my head. My earliest memory in childhood is of standing in my crib and crying but noone came to pick me up. Eventually I stopped crying because I knew noone would come. I still fight this as an adult. To even think of walking into a room and saying "tada" scares me. The fear of rejection is too great.
God has done amazing things in my life, amazing things in my heart. This is a major area that still needs work though. Maybe one day I'll be able to say "TADA!!!". You'll be one of the first people I tell when it happens.
Hahaha!! I will look forward to that day Marlene:)
Love, Love, Love THIS!!!! After years of lop-sided teaching of God's judgment, the mixed messages of life based on false beliefs and expectations of others and myself, and the suffering and pain of circumstances beyond my control, I'm learning again to have those "ta-da" moments and help others have them too! Thanks for reminding me that we are all worth celebrating!!!!!!!
Thank you!
Sheila thank you for these words. Your questions resonated all too well with my heart and yet I am striving to move past the fear that has kept me hidden for so long. The Father has been whispering a reminder of His constant love for me over the last few weeks and this blog post is just another reminder that I am loved. He delights in me, warts and all. Thanks for the reminder. You have warmed my heart today.
Thank you Makeda!!
Sheila,
You have such a knack for hitting the nail right on the head. I love your gift and I love it that you share it with the rest of us. I pray you are as blessed as we are when we receive your godly wisdom and spirit.
Wow! You reached right inside me a touched a tender spot! Yes! I love Ta-Da's. Actually I do them and they are less than appreciated by those in my immediate vicinity, usually family. I think I need to share more of my Ta-Da's with people who will applaud and think it is awesome along with me. I know I am God's well-loved child! Thank you for spot-lighting that!
Thank you Sandy:)
Yes this post does resonate with me. I love the analogy with your child. For me it still seems easier to Ta-da toward God than people. I know He can be trusted. Now I can see prayer time is like a Ta-da time when we run into His presence and know he is glad we are there. Thank you for giving me that image.
So true Joan, I guess I do too. I know my Father will receive me just as I am
What a sweet post Danielle-that touched my heart
WOW! Awesome post, Sheila!
Years past have taken that Ta-Da factor out of my life. I feel, as Joan does, that it is much safer to Ta-Da towards God than humanity. S-l-o-w-l-y….I am learning to trust people but it is very difficult. Thank you for your transparency and your gift to minister to the hurting.
Thanks Mary Jo. It does take time to trust people again and I think we learn to choose those we trust with care
LOVE This! Love you!
Thank you Rachel:)
I greatly admire those who have this ability. My youngest son, at 18, has an incredible sense of self confidence that is wonderful! Thanks for this wonderful post.
Vanessa, I love that about your son too. I would also love it for you, not even in the sense of self-confidence but rather the joy of knowing how much God our Father loves you
Now that I see this said in print, it makes me realize that I haven't had that
"TA-DA" feeling in a very long time. I miss it and know that I need it. In all honesty I am feeling very insignificant. How do I go about finding it agin?
Grrrreat Sheila’s “Ta-da!” post /
As parents, we are there for all the “Ta-da!”moments:)
As adults, I believe we still need all those celebrated “Ta-da!”moments /
I celebrate them with everyone, every chance I get, even tweets!!
It’s a boost ~ a win-win //
That's lovely Candace-thanks!
Wow Sheila! Thank you for shining light on this truth. This is a constant struggle for me and you have shared it so eloquently! The older I get the more I see that it is a common struggle that a lot of humanity shares. I struggle to constantly face that fear and instead of reacting in the same old way to keep reminding myself of my place in the Father's heart and that He has room in His heart to love all of His children.
So true Jeanie, thanks!
Thanks so much Sheila! I was just heading off to bed, when I read this and was in shock. I answered "yes" to your questions. I have to wonder if any of this has to do with my struggle to lose 50 pounds. Am I afraid that people won't accept me as a thin person, or worse, will reject me? I've started weight watchers 3 weeks ago, but until I figure this out…I will have a hard time losing the weight. Hmmm…..why is it that I want the approval of my family and friends so much?
Hi Sheila…I love how you capture what we feel. I just finished my fifth chemotherapy treatment with one more to go and then I want to have a Ta-Da moment. In my heart, I know that it was divine intervention that caught my ovarian cancer and I want to be able to run into God’s presence without fear and find out what my purpose on this earth is supposed to be.
Beth, i want to join you in that Ta-Da moment-that will be worth celebrating!!!
I'm an OC Survivor too! Will be hitting my 5 year mark next month. I hope you are doing well! Hugs to you! Ta-Da – you're almost there!!
I LOVE this post. Thanks, Sheila. A fellow "ta-da-er!"
Randy
i knew that about you the minute I met you Randy:)
i think i'm afraid of my "ta-da!" it's a mixture of not feeling i have enough to offer and being so afraid of seeming arrogant.
i so desire to be known, but am still crazy-scared of the process of becoming known. the risk and the vulnerabilities and the possibilities of rejection… i continue to "do it afraid" though. because i know no other way, and i'm so tired of plastic "authenticity".
I hear you Alece. I was raised in a culture that squashed those moments or painted them to look like arrogance but what I saw and still see in my son is not that, it's more like joy, being loved, not being afraid. I, like you did it afraid for a long time but now i get it that i don't make life better for anyone else by hiding who i really am-so I Ta-Da on a regular basis:)
i was raised in that same breed of christianity. it was ingrained in me that anything that drew attention to me, any form of "spotlight", was wrong. i know now the untruth of that mentality… i'm just still working on living in the truth of embracing who God made me to be.
and by the way, i love your ta-da's!
what a great post!!!! now i'm off to figure out what holds me back at times…
Every time I see you with a child in your arms Spence you have a Ta-Da all over you:)
" Do you believe that if people knew all about you they would reject you?" – Yes, because I've experienced this many times over – mostly by my supposedly "Christian" friends…it saddens and befuddles me. And no matter how much I try to reach out and reconcile, the relationship never seems to be able to be repaired.
I agree, that is so sad. I've had that happen too and I grieve the loss but I won't let it change me. I still believe in living in what I know to be true no matter how life seems at times. Prayed for you today
That is a beautiful way to put it . i am so blest to have a church family that we really do support one another when we go through rough times. I also have a very close circle of friends outside of my church. I feel so blest and loved by my Heavenly Father!!!
i celebrate that with you Margaret!
I love this post! I once thought about how awful it is to feel judged, but then I thougt that the One who judges all, loves me and made me who I am, so when I think of Him and how He feels about me, what everyone else thinks seems pale in comparison. ____Big Fat Mama
Very well put:)
I read this post and had to share. Last week was my tada moment. I had to trest God and Jump out there. I have been married 13yrs but in that marriage I have been verbally abused along w/my two boys. We have been to 12 marriage counselors who have all told me to go but I stayed-until now. It got to be to bad and the boys were begging to go. I had to put them first. I took a step of faith and left. My tada moment was telling a hanful of women from church-would they shun me or support me. They have come thru with flying colors and do more than support me. Im so thankful for them and could not do this with out them. God is making it very obvious I am doing the right thing and he is sending in the troops we need to make this through-God is so good!!!
I think some of such “ta-daaa” persons (e. g. in the office)can be tiresome. Blessed are the quiet ones.
I've had this page bookmarked for quite some time now and often revisit it if I feel I am in need of a poignant reminder. That photograph – is that your son? He's lovely. He reminds me so much of me when I was a child… and there is something about that exuberant, innocent confidence that yet calls out to an elusive part of myself I know I still possess. My encounters with him are often fleeting, ephemeral – but they are also among the purest forms of joy I can know. Kris, I think you're missing the point a little. As a child I was quiet and shy – as I am today – but there was a certain something, an element of youthful joy and unabashed purity of soul and self borne of a loving family almost predetermined to be tainted by the harshness of life in modern society.
It's interesting, in a sense, because I cannot relate to you on a religious level, and I believe myself to be considerably younger than the majority of people commenting – though I am no stranger to existential issues. The truth of what you say as it appeals to the common humanity inherent to us all is beautiful. I believe the culmination of my spiritual struggles will present itself when I am able to rediscover and combine the essence of the innocent, passionately curious and imaginative child I once was with the perspective and self-sufficiency developed in adulthood, and I feel as each day draws to a close the answer itself draws nearer, though the battle to be entirely oneself in a world that would seek to shape us and fill us with fear, shame and doubt is likely an ongoing one, and I wish you all nothing but strength and perseverance.