Forgiveness. Part 1
Forgiveness-Part 1
On March 9, 2009 a gunman walked down the aisle of First Baptist Church in Maryville, Ill, spoke briefly to the pastor, Fred Winters then shot him three times. Those who were closest to the front of the church that day said that the first shot sounded like a firecracker. It hit Pastor Winter’s bible sending parts of it into the air like confetti. They thought it might have been a sermon illustration. But the horrible reality soon became clear. Pastor Winters was pronounced dead at Anderson Hospital.
Left behind, a grieving congregation.
Left behind a stunned community.
Left behind…at the very heart of this tragedy, Cindy Winters and her two daughters.
In an interview with CBS’s The Early Show just a few days after the shooting, Cindy made a statement that was hard for many to wrap their hearts around, she said that she forgave the gunman and was praying for his family.
Today, more than a year later I am flying to Maryville, Ill to sit down with Cindy, her family, friends and congregation to listen as they unpack a little of what this journey has been like for them. Cindy and the girls have walked through the first Christmas without Fred and the anniversary of that unimaginable day.
We are filming this for a television special on a woman who has trusted God in the worst circumstances of life. Honestly, although my background is in television I have always struggled with television as a medium to communicate spiritual truth. Life is not neat and tidy and does not easily accommodate itself to twenty-two minutes and commercial breaks.
So my prayer today as I head out to the airport is simply that this time would honor who Fred was and give Cindy another place to see the mysterious way that God redeems what seems unredeemable.
If you asked me today what forgiveness is I would say that forgiveness invites us to take the weight of the things that have crushed us to a Savior who has been crushed and find our hope and healing there.
I will write part two after my days in Maryville. I expect to be changed.
I am so glad that you are back here in our neighborhood, and I am grateful that it is you who will be telling this story. This is still a community that is grieving. Stop on by Christ Church for a coffee while you are here!
I will pray that this story will bring glory to our Lord, and that it will be told in a way that we will all consider how fragile life is on this planet; and how important it is to be ready when it is our time to leave. I know you are the person to tell the events and how they unfolded. God bless you and keep you in his service always.
Thank you Linda
I will be very interested to hear/see your followups with Cindy. Without going into all the details, let me just say that I have experienced a similar loss. Very similar. At a few days after Fred's death, Cindy was still in complete shock. I do believe that we can forgive people who did absolutely terrible things and that God can give us strength to do things that are unimaginable. I can imagine (in fact, I don't have to imagine) praying for the gunman's family, even immediately after the shooting. I'm looking forward to hearing what Cindy's perspective on this now that she's farther down the path of healing. Wishing you a wonderful, inspiring visit!
So sorry for your loss Carol. Thank you for your thoughts
Thanks Jeri!!
Praying for you, Sheila. May God give the grace you and the family are needing to tell their story. And may it bring peace and comfort to all, and glory to our God.
Thank you Lynn
I soooo agree with you about struggling with television as a medium for spiritual truths! The only good thing about it, is when it leads non-believers to the truth. Yet it can seem that truth is based on a fantasy when those new believers encounter hardships with very different outcomes than what they see on TV. If I'm being honest, it's sometimes hard for me, and I've been a christian most of my life. Since I'm being honest, it's even like that with events like WOF, and church. Unless you have a relationship with those people, which most don't, everything seems just as neat and tidy in their lives as what you see on television, soooo… how do you get around that? Maybe not being so neat and tidy?? I don't know, but I DO know that God will bless you and Cindy and those that are blessed to hear her message!
You are loved!
One of the things that is huge for us at WOF is to tell the truth of what we are going through at that moment as opposed to what happened twenty years ago. i see blogging and Twitter and Facebook as another way to stay connected on a more current level but you are right, they are all imperfect systems of communication and limmited to how well you know a person.
PS-no one who knows me ever things of me as neat and tidy:)
BTW… I don't know you that well, but I don't think of you as neat and tidy!!
Not many people are. 
I have close ties to several people who are "in the public eye" and know how they present themselves to others. It really puts "famous" people's lives in perspective, no matter how well put together they seem. 
I really appreciate your honesty and transparency and I have both learned and gained wisdom from you and your words. Thank you for that! Love ya! 
The world needs to see stories of extravagant forgiveness. Judgement and condemnation are the norm in our society, not mercy and grace. The world also needs to know that God truly does carry us through the most unbelievably difficult circumstances in our lives. Three and a half years ago I was put in the impossible position of being forced to choose between my husband and our three foster-adopted children. My husband had made a horrendous mistake and created the situation. I was told by CPS that I had to divorce my husband in order to keep my children… and if I wouldn’t do that then my kids had to go back to foster care. They had been ours for 5 years, legally adopted and everything. To top things off our oldest was at a preteen angry/rebellious stage so she was lying to the CPS workers to make the situation much worse than it actually was, and was spurring our middle child into rebellion with her. My husband was struggling with severe depression and mental delusions brought on by paranoia and anxiety, and all clearly the work of the enemy to destroy this once very Godly man. He couldn’t even stand up for himself or defend himself. It was heartbreaking in a way no words could ever describe. I clung to the word of God and trusted that if I did things His way He would work something good out of the devastation. I’m still clinging and waiting. I refused to divorce my husband. I publicly testified that my position toward him was one of forgiveness and reconciliation. So, they took my kids… and my husband was sent to prison for 5 years. My oldest went to live with a young couple she knew and was adopted by them. She didn’t want to see me anymore. My younger two remain in the same foster home together and have bonded with their new family. I see the two of them once a month. I talk to my husband on the phone daily and visit him most weekends at the prison, 3 hrs from my home. Both of our families have disowned him and think I should have divorced him to make him pay even more for his mistakes and save the kids from being returned to foster care. My husband still struggles with depression and anxiety and the enemy still has his mind twisted around lies and deception. He is disillusioned with the Christian church and is leaning on the teachings of a Hindu yogi for comfort. And I continue to trust God with it everyday…. and God has proven himself faithful to me personally in the midst of it. I live with a crushed heart and the loss of all I held dear, but my God has been faithful to tale care of my needs, surround me with awesome Godly friends, and a wonderful church family. Life does go on after unthinkable loss and God is closer than ever when our hearts are crushed, our tears won’t stop, and all we can do is ask why. He might not tell us why…. but He will hold us while we cry on His shoulder and whisper to us that everything will will be ok. I can’t share my story publicly… yet. I’m glad someone else can. I pray that many people will be drawn to Christ and will find comfort and hope because of her testimony. May God bless her and her children as they share their story.
Lisa, I'm glad you shared your painful story.
God has a plan. We / I don't understand!
Praying for your situation!
Love and Prayers,
Sandra G & Company
Dear Sheila,
Sorry for off topic. I found it the easiest way to reach You. Just been translating your "Beautiful things …" How can I reach you/your assisstant concerning one sentence only on page 49? All this trouble only to make "Beautiful things" sound beautiful also in other language. Regards
Sheila: I will be excited to see how the topic of forgivenss is explained. Have a whole life of unforgiveness. How do you forgive abuse as a child of 5? How do you forgive caring for your 3 younger sisters as men are paraded in and out of our lives? How do you forgive a gang rape, pregnancy and stillbirth of a baby? The main questions is not how do you forgive others but how do you forgive yourself? I've been asking God to help me learn to forgive and maybe he is answering this through you.