BULLY
BULLY
I stood in the Headmaster’s office with my knees shaking. I knew that I was in more trouble than I had ever been in my life. I was twelve years old and I had just punched a girl so hard on the nose that I broke it and gave her two black eyes. I had never done anything like that in my life before or since but as I waited to hear what my punishment would be I had to admit to myself than given the same set of circumstances, I would do it again.
She was the school bully. I had watched her torment boys and girls for years. She had picked on one boy in my class (who was fat and wore glasses) for so long that he had been absent for several weeks with a suspected stomach ulcer. Most of us were afraid of her. I certainly was and just tried to avoid her but one day she decided to start on my brother. My sister, brother and I were all born with toes that turned inward. Frances and I had worn casts on our legs for a year and when they were taken off we had to learn to walk again. So, when it was my brothers turn, my mom chose a different option.
Stephen is three years younger than me and he wore these Forrest Gump style braces on his legs for five years. He hated them. Every day after school I would wait for him and we would walk home together. I knew that that the bully had laughed at him a couple of times and I’d told him just to ignore her.
But on this day, this one day her bullying was more than I could handle. Stephen wanted to try out for the soccer team and even though he wore braces the coach told him to give it his best shot. We had practiced in the back yard for weeks but when the trials came, he didn’t make the cut. He was pretty upset as we walked home and that was the day she chose to follow us, calling him all sorts of horrible names. I could tell he was heart-broken and I turned round and told her to shut-up but she wouldn’t. Before I had time to think through the consequences of my actions I turned round and hit her with everything that was in me.
I was belted ten times with a leather strap by the Headmaster and disciplined by my mom but when I looked in my brother’s eyes-it was worth it.
My hands recovered as did my brother’s heart but what I see happening in today’s culture will not be so easy to repair. It’s hard enough to be a teenager now but to be singled out, isolated, mocked and harassed on Facebook, at school or through text messages by cyber-bullies because you are different is driving many vulnerable teens to take their own lives.
So I have 2 questions for you;
1-If a society is only as strong as it’s weakest member, what are we going to do?
2-Are we as the Church providing a safe place for the broken and marginalized or do they feel as ostracized and judged by us?
“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”
Matthew 25:40 (NIV)
I love you friend. Thank you for being one who is standing in the gap.
Thanks Deb-right back you!
I know what it feels like to be a bully I was one when I was in school. When I look back at all this especially since I have found God, I think about the people I have hurt and how much angry I had in my life growing up. I was abused in so many ways it makes me sick now to even think about it. It was the angry I had within me that turned me into a bully. I regret this so much today, if I had help back then when I was growing up I wouldn't have took my angry out on people. We need a safe place for this young youths to talk and work through it because all they are doing is hurting people and themselves in the long run. If I could go back and change my childhood not been a bully I would do it in a heart beat.
Wow Brenda, thank you so much for sharing that perspective. Much needed input!!!
What a timely and universal concern. For your story, it was too bad nothing was done to stop the girl from bullying, before you literally took things into your own hands. Bullying happens to adults, to the point in the news we hear of people "going postal."
What do we do? We need some way to nip the bullying in the bud. As a society and community, we need to have a standar not tolerate and shun those who bully others, instead of letting it slide. This is much like Mayor Rudy Giuliani's "Broken Glass Theory" – go after the petty crimes, deter the big ones.
And at such a time of lack of civility, the Church should strive to be salt and light in the world, which takes much self-examination and repentance of our injustices against the weakness among us.
Very true Susan-thank you!
Sheila, Thank you for your thoughts on bullying, relating your childhood experience and for the questions you posed. I was not bullied as a child. With everything else that happened to me, I think God protected me from any further harm! __The church has it's bullies although not in the physical sense. Christians can demean others that are different or who don't quite "measure up" to the perceived "Christian" standard. We are much more subtle, which means it can remain a hidden sin. God forgives our sin and frees us from shame but too many of us assume those sins make someone "less than" and hold it over their heads in subtle ways. __On Twitter there is going to be an event to bring attention to the problem of bullying on 11-9-2010. People are being encouraged to tell their stories. You can find out more about the 24-hour Bully Stake-Out by searching #24stakeout
Thanks Sojourner-I'll look for that
Hi Sheila! I work for a school district for a Safe Schools Healthy Students grant that is currently working on strategies to stop bullying. However, also as a mother of a child with Aspergers, bullying is something that is a very real fear I have for my own child. As far as society as a whole, it is so hard to change people's thought processes. Working with our youth might be the best place to start, fostering attitudes of acceptance. But also, I think we are parents have the most important role. If we start early developing open and honest relationships with our kids, and letting them know every day that they are accepted exactly the way they are no matter what and that they can come to us with ANYTHING. In most homes both parents are working, and it is so easy to brush off the need to have real in depth conversations with our kids, because we don't see it as an immediate need, like laundry or fixing dinner, but it is an immediate need. They NEED us, even if they don't know it, they NEED us to love them, and to take the time to teach them about Jesus and unconditional love that has no boundaries.
Very good point Stephanie-our kids do need us no matter how they appear on the surface. i also wonder how many kids turn into bullies because no one appears to care for them
Absolutely! Many bullies are seeking power and control because of what has been modled in their own homes or seeking control because they feel out of control everywhere else. Also, many kids that wouldn’t have bullied now do because its much easier to send a horrible text message than it is to say something to someones face. Not to mention the picture messaging-a girl who just wants acceptance from her boyfriend texts a pic, his friend pressures him to send it on, and before you know it its around the school. And that poor girl who was desperate for love and acceptance in the first place is now exposed and feeling shameful in ways we never could have imagined.
Is God truly the answer?
For me James, God is a huge part of the answer but not an excuse to do nothing. The love of god compels us to want to make a difference
James, just like Sheila, I have found God to be a huge part of the answer. Christ is our example. When a group of people were getting ready to stone a woman caught in adultery, Christ put a stop to it (by telling them, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"). Not only did Christ stop the stoning, He showed compassion to the woman by forgiving her for the sin she had committed. Like Sheila says, God wants us to do the same. We should be willing to stand up to injustice, and we need to be willing to love both the bullied and the bullies (who may very well be acting out of their woundedness).
God teaches us what love and compassion truly are, and if we all practiced what God teaches (especially through His Son), bullying and other injustices wouldn't happen.
We would be able to understand that God makes each one of us unique, and He has a role for each of us that nobody else can quite fill. We'd be able to love each person for their uniqueness.
Also, I believe that in the end, only God can bring the healing necessary for both the bullied and the bullies. I think bullies may often act out of their own pain and maybe out of what they have learned, either from their parents or other children (especially their friends). Only He can open those wounds and clean them out (which I admit is not a pleasant experience, but well worth all the pain when He has cleaned them out), to bring the healing. Also, He brought me to a safe place to do that–to allow Him to open those wounds and for me to face my demons. It has given me a lot of insight into myself and has helped to me see where some of my weaknesses and behaviors come from.
I'm a member of Assistance League of Santa Monica and we have a new program that deals with bullying. It is a puppet show that we are taking to elementary schools in our area which tells kids how to deal with bullies. (I am one of the puppeteers.) We have been to two schools already and have two more scheduled this week with more requesting our program. We will schedule them as soon as possible. We show it to 1st through 5th graders and the response so far has been incredible. The questions the children ask of the puppets at the end of the performance are very moving.
That is fabulous, gives the children a forun to talk
Or even a forum:)
I went to catholic schools.
I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy. The teachers were just as bad as the kids, enabling bullies, looking the other way, sometimes frankly taking their side. There was a whole lot of Christlier than Thou without actually following anything he said.
Religious schools & the torture therein-that’s what it is, constant daily systemic torture-are a major reason I do not believe in god. it doesn’t matter how ‘saved’ you are if you stand by and allow all that.
Kassiane, I find your note heart breaking. Your experience of those who should protect standing by and doing at best nothing and at worst participating is beyond cruel. One of the things I find most compelling about Christ was how he hated that kind of empty religion. If the love of God does not propel us to protect the innocent we have missed his heart
It is so sad how children bully others…. I know I was one who was bullied and then I got strong and looked them in the eye and said…. no u will not do this anymore… I cry for these kids who are bullied.. these children end up being the ones who bring a gun to school and do terrible things… just like Columbine… Parents need to say enough is enough. some parents actually think it is cool to be the bullied / builds character… don't be scare be tough they say…..I taught my kids to ignore others and they did but I know it was hard on my first daughter and now she is the less likely to stand up for herself sometimes if she has an opinion… I don't want my kids to feel shut down and less able to say what needs to be said because a bully thought it was o.k. to mess with them…. My one daughter had a girl actually attack her in 6th grade and I had to go to the school….. I told that principle I know my daughter is not going to get in trouble over this situation…. because that girl came at her first and they knew she had bothered my daughter time and time again….. we will stand up and not let others mess with our family… I prayed with my daughter and things did get better.. and that girl really never messed with my daughter because my daughter stood up to her. Thank God for the fact they are now graduates and we don't deal with the school system anymore. It was hard for about 6 years of school for both my girls and now we do talk about being kind and what happened during those years… the sad part about all of that is those kids who bullied never finished school and now are in jail… of course this doesn't happen all the time but the ones we knew had this happen to them…. We need to pray for our grand kids now who are in school…I hope all parents will find solace in knowing that school time goes so fast for ur kids and please keep in prayer throughout that time ur kids are in school. I stayed steadfast on what God could do for us through the situations that came up and we got through it… Thanks for posting that story Sheila and we love u so in NY…. see u next November…
Isn\’t that sad Mary, that school for so many is just an experience to get through rather than to learn and grow. I often wonder what\’s going on in the lives of those who hit out? Are they being abused at home or is there such an inner self- hatred that they try to feel better about themselves by making others suffer? Are we so out of tough with our children that we no longer know their stories?
This was awesome Sheila! I think that the questions you posed are so important for each of us to ask ourselves. There have been times in my life that I have felt more judged at church than anywhere else…. it shouldn’t be like that! The Church is supposed to be a safe place for people to feel God’s love and know that they aren’t alone. Everyone needs that… even the bullies.
I think that as the Church Nikki we struggle with the doctrine of grace. We take it on ourselves to \”fix\” others but as C. S. Lewis wrote, \”When Jesus commissioned Peter he said, feed my sheep not experiment on my rats.\”
One thing I don't see addressed here is the parents responsibility in their child being a bully, other than the one that was abused themselves. We have to know that the child learns it at home, the prejudice, the disrespect for others. Either the parent is this way also or they are indifferent or abusive.
I think the parent of the child doing the bullying should be the one brought before the school and if necessary the police called. Let's stop looking the other way because of whose child they are.
That\’s a very valid point. In my son\’s school there was a boy bullying some of the kids but many of the patents were reluctant to deal with it because of who the boys parents are. There is NO excuse for that
God tells us to love all, even our enemies. The greatest thing we can do is PRAY. Our God loves us all, wants us all, no matter what we have done in our past. Pray and ask Him for change. He is our Miracle Maker.
I love that perspective Sharon but I personally feel that at times we need to intervene to protect those who can\’t protect themselves
I really like your perspective on this. I too was bullied when I was in grade school because I was really shy. One time I was standing in line to go back in from recess and one of the school bullies came up behind me and pushed me so hard into the kid in front of me that my face smacked his head and cut my lip really bad. As it turned out I was the one who got in trouble because I cried and tattled on the person who hurt me. It breaks my heart to hear stories today about these teens feeling being bullied so bad that they feel like they are worthless. Even though I never thought about taking my own life I can definitely understand the feelings of worthlessness and extreme hurt. Thanks for sharing Sheila.
Thanks Rori, there was a girl in my class who would keep me on the school bus way past my stop and kick me \’till my shins were black and blue. I was so afraid of her that I never told anyone in case it got worse. I\’m working on a book for kids on the subject of bullying
Sheila,
Our oldest son was bullied in fourth grade by a kid that was too smart to let adults catch him doing it. Around the teachers he was polite and sweet, but then he bullied kids who weren't in his inner circle of cool kids.
As I read your story, I, for one, am glad you stood up for your brother. Sorry but often the only reason most bullies listen to is a strong dose of their own medication.
What happened afterward? Did she leave you alone?
She did Maurilio. I think she never expected another child to fight back. It also changed how the other kids saw her, not so invincible:)
It seems as if there is a great deal of hurt in some of these responses. And though I already posted a response, after reading others responses, I just had something on my heart. God doesn’t look the other way. He sees the pain. Recently I was very confused by a passage in Mark 2:40-45. The story is about Jesus healing a man with leprosy. Verse 41 says “moved with compassion Jesus reached out and touched him.” He then declares to the man that he is healed. But I noticed that there was a star by the word compassion, noting that some texts state moved with anger. That seemed strange to me. Compassion and anger? So I sat and quited my mind-and this thought came-anger because my people are hurting in a world never meant for sin. Compassion because I came to heal the hurting, its a Holy anger that longs to heal the hurt.
Which brings me back to bullying. Christians are not perfect. We live only by grace. I hope to be a living example of Christs love, but I am human, I fail. We all fail, be it bullying and acting out past hurt through anger, be it standing by and doing nothing paralyzed by fear, be it hanous unthinkable acts where Satans voice speaks so loud to the person that they somehow forget the value of life. But we serve a perfect God. We serve a God who is angered when we hurt and is powerful enough to use our hurts to show his love and healing. Hurt is real, but only He can heal. One day He will return and wipe away all the sorrow and pain, but until then we must hold fast to the only truth we have, Gus word His spirit and His love.
That would be “His word” rather than “Gus word” LOLOLOL! That’s what I get for the T9 on my phone,
!!!
That is fabulous Stephanie and that is our ultimate hope. In John\’s gospel there is a similar situation just before Christ brings Lazarus back to life-greatly troubled, stirred up, angry at the pain he saw but moved by compassion for those in pain
Matt. 7:12 (NLT)
"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."
Perhaps we should look at people & threat them the way Jesus did…would He ostracize anyone? Aren't we Christians, in a sense, 'bullying' certain people by not allowing them to attend our places of worship or be an active part of our churches? We shun people who are 'not like us'–isn't ignoring or shutting people out just as bad as physical abuse and neglect?
Would Jesus be proud to call us His disciples based on how we treat others—no matter who they are?
Very true Karen and you my friend have had to face that in more ways than one
Amen!
I was a victim of bulling in my young childhood. I grew up in a very large poor family. I was bullied at school, at home and in relationships. I always had a soft spot for the hurting and the poor but along the way have done some hurting myself because of my own pain,Today I am healed and I am whole, thanks to my Lord and Saviour. I see everyday, people, love ones, being the victim of bullying and it breaks my heart. I am determined to make a stand. I can't sit back and let one more child, one more adult take his or her life because of bullying. .
Matthew 7:12..Treat others the way you would want to be treated.
Thanks Shelia! God Bless you!
Thank you Mary
I love your challenge to the bystander. So often we are afraid to intervene and I'm sure those who bully thrive on that.
I am horrified by what you have had to endure Katherine. Such cruelty when you were so small. I am glad that you have found a priest who loves you with the love of God
Why is it the ones who do the most severe judging in our churches are the ones with the most power and influence? It ought not to be so.
Christ\’s example was that those who lead should be the ones who will wash the feet of others
I think it is Jason Gray who has a song that says “Does your worship have hands, does your worship have feet, does it stand up to the face of injustice.” I think about that often because I was the oldest child of 2 and also had to stand up for my brother more than once, and I too would do it again.
I often see people in the church that are quick to place judgement and push away as opposed to embracing the very ones the “body of Christ” should be embracing.
I think it takes courage to “stand up to the face of injustice” but I think it is part of what being a Christian means. We have gotten off track, but it is time for people to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. The bullying problem now is horrible and so much more far-reaching. People need to be stepping up and listening to the children who are being bullied and the ones who are bullying. I admire those of you who say you work with kids and listen to what they are saying. There sure is a lot of hurt in this world, and I feel we need to step up and not be afraid to help the helpless.
Good for you Sheila for standing up when it was necessary! Many people are afraid to step in when they can help. I think the churches need to look at where they are. My pastor preached this week on inviting God in the church. He said most churches know how to put on a good production but wouldn’t know God if he was walking down the aisle between the pews. We need to start looking towards Him in our churches to be there for the helpless and the hopeless.
Wow, well said Sherry.
We have to do something!!! It isn’t just gonna go away!! When I was in the 9th grade I became friends with a girl who didn’t have many friends! Me being a social butterfly but always craving a close friendship I started sitting with her at lunch . Very quickly we became best friends and I learned that the other kids in my school my other “friends” were horrible to her. It wasn’t just one person or a group of people but most of the 9th grade! I never knew how to respond other than to invite her to my house and get her mid off it all! I was terrified to speak up against anyone bc I didn’t want to be another target! But to this day I have trouble forgiving myself for not standing up for her! She killed herself after leaving my house! We did our usual eat a snack giglgle about stupid stuff ! I thought she was good but never really asked and she went home and got the call the next morning! Sometimes I feel just as bad as everyone else bc I didn’t say anything! I love that you took a stand and did something about it! I think we all need to be doing somthing about it! Maybe not so physical but something has to be done!!!!
I understand your grief Sammie but you did do something. You reached out to her and loved her. Only God knows how that brought some light to her darkest moments
Recieved this article today…thought it very timely and necessary to share
Reducing bullying and cyber bullying
Ten easy tips for educators can help prevent bullying in schools and online
By Elizabeth Englander and Kristin Schank
This fall, there are new and revamped laws in many states that address K-12 bullying and cyber bullying. In Massachusetts, we have one of the most comprehensive and far-reaching laws in the country. As in many states, K-12 teachers in Massachusetts have new responsibilities to respond to, report, and address bullying and cyber bullying. Here at the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC), we’ve developed 10 tips to help faculty cope with what can seem an overwhelming task.
1. Keep “responding” and “reporting” separate in your mind.
What behaviors do you have to report for possible formal discipline? Also, how should you respond when you see inappropriate (possibly bullying or definitely bullying) behaviors? Always respond by making it clear that you are disturbed by what you saw. Should you respond to a behavior that you might not normally report (such as laughter at a child’s expense)? The answer is yes. Remember that even if it’s not a “reportable” behavior—respond to it. Ignoring even mild bullying behaviors is essentially the same as endorsing them.
2. Focus on the small stuff.
It’s useful to understand the difference between “gateway” behaviors and blatant bullying. Gateway behaviors facilitate or reinforce bullying—they make disrespect seem normal (which facilitates bullying) or even rewarded (like laughing along with a bully). The difficulty is that there are usually no solid rules against gateway behaviors, so adults often ignore them. But research shows us how toxic they can be. In 2009 and 2010, MARC researchers found that it was the gateway behaviors that dominated victim reports.
Focusing on the small stuff means understanding that we need to educate kids about the impact of even small behaviors and react when we see them happening. How to respond? Explain that even small behaviors really affect others. Tell the child that you don’t want to see behavior that might be interpreted as rude, and instruct the child to stop. Make it a classroom rule. Then, repeated instances become insolence towards you—which is a possible matter for school discipline.
3. The cyber stuff: Approach and coach.
Although kids are comfortable with technology, they are not necessarily knowledgeable about it—don’t confuse the two. We all need to talk with kids about technology. Don’t worry about how much you know or don’t know. Ask kids what’s happening online with them. Ask them to tell you (or show you) what they’re up to online. And keep in mind that even if you might not know how to do a particular thing, you do know that even online they should watch what they say and be civil to others. Don’t hesitate to make that message loud and clear.
4. The Rumor Mill is still the leader in social problems.
Online and offline, rumors today fly at an incredible rate. In our research, bullies tell us that spreading rumors online is the by far the most common thing they do to others. So if we do anything to stop bullying, let’s be sure to focus on the rumors.
5. Talk to kids about how to handle things when they get mad at each other.
Kids today often vent electronically when they’re mad, instead of trying to resolve the problem. Faced with the choice between a difficult face-to-face conversation, versus the ease of venting online, they might often conclude that it makes more sense to go electronic. The problem is that by doing so, they usually escalate the conflict instead of resolving it. In bygone days, kids didn’t need to be coached on the benefits of talking face to face when they’re upset—but today they often do. In our research, girls particularly showed a tendency to do this.
6. Don’t neglect elementary school students.
Both bullying and cyber bullying start young. Although we tend to neglect these topics until middle school, the fact is that the seeds of bullying are sown at a young age. And that includes cyber bullying: In a study conducted in 2008, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting found that 72 percent of all first graders used the internet at least once a week during the summer. Anecdotally, at MARC we have seen cases of cyber bullying involving second graders.
The good news is that young elementary students are very willing and able to internalize rules about behavior. Thus, it is important to teach them that being a good person on the computer is just as important as being a good person on the playground. MARC offers a curriculum on bullying and cyber bullying for grades K-5. You can read about it on our web site and request a copy online.
7. To get the kids to report, you must connect with them emotionally on some level.
We’re not saying you should be best friends with your students; only that your students need to know that you care about them and their welfare. Kids today are still reporting bullying to adults at very low levels. Boys particularly, in our research, are not reporting to educators. Why aren’t kids reporting? More than 80 percent of the boys and girls in our research revealed that when they did report, no action was taken as a result. They took a big risk in “telling,” but as far as they knew, nothing was done.
Of course, confidentiality laws (both federal and, in many states, local) prohibit educators from telling a person specifics about any action taken against another student. But these laws don’t prohibit you from telling a student, “We’re not ignoring your report. We are working on it,” and that’s exactly what reporters need to hear.
8. Girls might need particular attention, socially.
In our research, male cyber bullies tended to attack strangers, acquaintances, or kids who were friends long ago. Girls, on the other hand, tended to attack their friends or those with whom they were recently friends. This is a finding of particular concern, because it means that girls are attacking the very foundations of their social support.
Adolescence is a time when kids are learning how to form the long-term friendships they will depend upon as adults. So be aware of the girls you teach: They might need your help in learning to appreciate and protect their social infrastructure—not attack it.
9. Take a moment to reinforce patient, kind, and friendly behaviors.
We all know that the carrot works better than the stick. When you notice a child being particularly good-hearted—especially in a potentially difficult situation, like when helping a classmate understand something, or sticking up for another child—be sure to let them know that you personally appreciate and admire their behavior. Better yet, use a classroom recognition system for the students who behave so well.
10. Enlist the kids in your efforts.
Although adults can be key players, it’s the kids themselves who are the ultimate arbiters of their group’s social behavior. Ask your students what kinds of bullying problems they notice, and what rules they believe should address those problems. Then sit back and watch them enforce their own rules with enthusiasm!
The Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center is an academic center at Bridgewater State University in Massachusetts. We offer K-12 schools in Massachusetts free programs and services by running a training program for graduate and undergraduate students in higher education. Everyone benefits: Future educators receive unique field training, and K-12 schools receive high-quality, no-cost programs and services. Our web site (www.MARCcenter.org) offers many free downloads, games, tips, and curricula for all schools, and parent downloads that are available in English, Spanish, and Portuguese.
Elizabeth Englander, Ph.D., is director of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) at Bridgewater State University. Kristin Schank is a graduate assistant at MARC.
Very helpful article Stephanie, thank you!
Punch Satan square in the nose…..with scripture…….
He is the ULTIMATE Bully and the Lord turned round and not only gave him two black eyes and a broken nose, but stepped on that rotten snakes head…..years ago on the Cross! And Sheila, like you, He took some lashes for doing what needed to be done!
AMEN
Thank you for sharing this story.
And to those on here who expressed being the victim of a bully and bullied by Pious legalism in a religious setting….THAT is NOT who Jesus IS! RUN TO HIM……He loves you and knows what you've been through precious ones.
Love,
Kathy @ A Gentle Answer Ministries
Thank you Kathy
Sheila,
Wow. What a story. I was the one in my childhood being bullied. Many people don't realize that bullies aren't just kids at school or kids your own age. Bullies can actually live with you. And when they do, it's something you find yourself living 24/7. Many days ended with me crying myself to sleep. Now that I am an adult and things have gotten a new light in my life, I can see where the very hand of God held me many days. Thanks for sharing your heart. I am preparing myself for your new blog posts coming new week.
My big sister was my bully! She never picked on anyone the way she did me it went way beyond sibling rivalry! At home she would tell me how much she hated me write me letters on why she wished I hadn’t been born etc. And at school she would spread rumor that ppl would assume to be true bc my sister said it!!! Everyone time I would talk about it ppl would say that’s just normal sister behavior but never would I do anything like that to her! Many of the things she said and did still hurt me today! She made me feel like I was not good enough or worthy of her love ! I also cried myself to sleep most nights! So I know wat you mean about a bully at home!
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