TRUST-why is it so hard?
When I was a little girl I wanted to be able to fly. I even jumped out of the bedroom window with an umbrella after seeing the movie Mary Poppins and was very disappointed when I ended up in my mother’s roses…as was she.
The closest I ever got to flying was having my sister Frances push me on a swing.
I would close my eyes and say, “Higher, Frances, higher!”
One day, I opened my eyes and Frances was sitting on the grass. I turned to see who was pushing me and was horrified to see that it was one of the neighborhood boys that I didn’t like. He wasn’t pushing me any higher or faster but because I didn’t trust him it turned what had been exhilarating into something terrifying.
That memory became the foundation stone for my study on trusting God.
The question I asked myself was, “Do I trust the heart of the One who is moving my life?”
In the next few blog posts I’ll share some of the things I’m learning on what I believe to be one of the most life-changing journeys of all, to fully trust God.
If you had asked me even two years ago, what is the greatest gift we can give God, I would have said to love him. Today I would say to trust him.
I believe that trust is what love looks like.
So I’ll start with this simple picture of a child on a swing and ask, “Do you trust the heart of the one who is moving your life?”
Love your post! I am not sure that it is easy for a man to trust either.
I think that's true Ken, early wounds make trust very difficult
That's my prayer too!
"I believe that trust is what love looks like." Great line, Sheila. Love it.
Thanks Maurillio
Love it, Sheila. I trust Him! I aim to trust Him even more tomorrow!
Me too Shellie
Just discovered your blog from a tweet. Love this theme!
Trust, as I've experienced it, feels like practice (like practicing the piano feels). Pushing beyond my current level/ability is frustrating and filled with mistakes. Trust also feels like a dynamic state, rather than a static one.
Can't wait to read what you have to offer!
I do trust God. I just feel lost and so disconnected lately. I am not even sure why, but I am hanging on to the One who knows and trusting Him fully.
Thanks..Look forward to reading your blogs.
Thanks Mary-one of the areas that I want to look at is that very feeling of being 'disconnected'. I too have struggled with that
A dear friend of mine said,"You can have confidence in a good but human friend, but can only trust in God, He will never back away".
So true Blythe
Thank you so much!
It's hard to trust when your life has been terribly violated and you feel like the puzzle pieces of your life have been thrown all over the room, and I wasn't the one who broke the puzzle in the first place. But Im the one who has to pick up the pieces and try to put the pieces back together again. Only, they don't fit together anymore. I wonder where God was during those moments, and where He is now sometimes. Im constantly trying to figure out how to get got to notice me and love me more. Healing is the hardest work I have ever had to do in my life, but I have moments of knowing He is with me and healing is happening. I can't stay there long because I scatter before knowing I've even done it, but Im learning to find my way back.
When something happens to you as a child trust is the wound that seems to run the deepest and bleed the longest. We learn to love again, to laugh again but we tend to keep ourselves 'safe' behind what is often an invisible shield of protection. I too am learning to find my way back
When I was little we did this Trust exercise at church. We were blindfolded and led around the playground by our trust buddy. Mine had me walking across this ledge that I promptly fell off of. Ouch. I always claim that as the first time I really started to have trouble with trusting. Wish I could say I had outgrown those scars, but I also I still struggle with this one.
You poor thing!!! Most of have a moment like that Lindsey but the scars that remain seem to run so deep
Sheila, I ordered a box of your books for our ladies Bible class to use next qtr. Saw you at Sa Antonio last week. Awesome.
I trusted over and over again untill I found out that I was too trusting. That made me feel like a fool for not acting sooner on what I was feeling. I guess I trusted what the other person said because I point blank asked them if I could trust them over and over again about a situation and they assured me everything was ok till I caught them and trust was broken. Now I am questioning my trusting this person everyday. I just bury my thoughts about this and get up every day and do the best I can.
Thank you Catherine. Hope the study is helpful
I purchased your book awhile back. There were some very key things that hit home with me and really touched my heart. Sometimes just to hear someone else say (or in your case write) exactly how you feel can bring a piece of healing! Thank you so much for being open with your struggles!
Thank you Missy
What a perfect analogy. This line got me:
“…because I didn’t trust him it turned what had been exhilarating into something terrifying.”
The Lord has planned an exhilarating life for me. All I have to do is trust Him. I want to walk in THAT.
Thank you, Sheila!
Thank you Heather!
Sheila..I have learned alot from you as far as being real and having trust..I saw you in Anaheim 2009 and 2010 but in 2009 you are the one that taught me that God was there for everyone and very powerful..I accepted God 2 weeks after Women of Faith and you helped me save my marriage..I have almost the same story as you..but I was the one that was betraying my husband..I have so much Faith in God and you are soooooo Awesome..my daily prayer EVERY MORNING is..Dear Lord, I dont know where your going today but Im going with you!!
Thank you Sheila..you have changed my life Forever! Thank you again 
Heather-what a sweet note. I am so grateful to be part of your life:)
Sheila, I saw you at Women of Faith in Denver this year. Right now our women' s group is doing the study at the back of your book. We are only on the 2nd week but it is amazing. It is going to be a great and intresting study to help all of us learn to trust GOD. Thank you.
Thanks Alma
God spoke to me so loud and clear through your words in this book. Thank you so very much!
Thank you Danielle
I saw you this weekend in Seattle at WOF. You were by far the most memorable speaker to me. I too had a difficult past and I struggle with trusting my heavenly father, because I did not have a very good earthly father.
I cannot wait to delve into your book and explore the topic of trust.
So sorry Missy. My prayer for you is that you will find that God is the perfect Father
Thanks Heidi-it seems as if it's a lifetimes pursuit
I think that's one of the greatest challenges to trust is that the only one who will never fail us is God
Wow Jennifer, thank you so much for sharing your honest struggles. There are so may things I don't understand but I do believe with all that's in me that God loves us and can be trusted
I like to say I have trust, in reality, I only dabble in it.
I understand Bonnie. I did that for years but I'm discovering that learning to trust is the most profound adventure offered to us
Trust is difficult for me. I trust my mom and my son implicetely! My husband and God,I'm still working on. It means giving someone power over me to trust someone.
I understand:)
;
Hi Sheila,
I saw you a few weeks ago in Portland. I was so happy I got to spend all day Friday and Saturday with you as I'd never been on Friday before. God is dealing with me about bring trust to the little moments. Sometimes I find it easier to trust Him on the big stuff, because what other choice do I have, when things are so much bigger than me? Like when my husband lost his job last October and I was 7mths pg with our third child? Trusting wasn't easy, but it was what was available to me, so I took it. And I experienced peace in the storm, and that was a first for me. He showed me just what kind of wife I needed to be, too. So my marriage didn't suffer, in fact, it was strengthened. He provided me a great job, and my husband a job, his didn't pay well, but he was working before the baby came, nonetheless. It's not the direction I hoped for, but the one that got us through, and each month he continues to make it work, even when excel says it shouldn't! I hear so many things about Christian wives and mothers and homeschooling, and I question this plan. And I hear him say, just do not be discontented with this great life I am giving you, trust Me that it will work out, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Constantly I search for validation, and don't look in the right place!
God has shown me through listening to you and reading your book that I don't trust Him with the little stuff. The every day stuff. I'm compartmentalizing Him and deciding what is and what isn't important enough to "bother" Him with, rather than REALLY laying my life before Him. I decide that I worry about a lot of things that I think God doesn't care about. You know, like some days how I will get it all done? How I can raise my children and get my boss the report he needs? How I will get from here to there in 15 minutes when it takes 30 and one of my little people just had an accident?
How can I keep my promises to my kids and also make sure we have clean laundry? To invite His will into my job, into my commitments, into my overwhelmedness and as result, my short fused mommyness, all of that. In the times I remember to do that, I make it on time, or if I don't, no one cares, no one thinks less of me, and my children feel cared for. And so do I. I'm not very far into your book yet, but one thing that struck me was not God saying, "do you trust me?" It was him saying, "Shelia, do you trust me?" or more "Jenny, do you trust me?" It's like I didn't trust that He would even care enough to say my name when He speaks to me. I hope that didn't all just sound like a ramble-a-thon!
I've always said that the reason I like to share my weaknesses about being a mom or a person, is because that is where all the good stuff is. That is where we connect with people. If we all stopped acting like it isn't hard, and admit that it IS hard, then we'd all feel a little bit better and less like a failure. But what you eloquently wrote about being vulnerable and building a bridge spoke to me (I don't have the page or paragraph in front of me).
I even thought I didn't have a big enough issue with trust to need to buy a book on it. Except that I had loyalty to you since you signed "Let Go" for me.
Sheila, at the end of the day on Friday a few weeks ago, I had $20 in my pocket and I tried to decide if I should buy your book or Marcus's. I WANTED to buy his. The computer in me said that was the one I could read, devise, and figure out a plan for my family. A Strength statement, YES! I could work his stuff all out on paper, and I would feel powerful, in control. And the Lord said to my heart, "you already have your plan, trust my plan instead" I want so badly to control, but when I release it in the arms of trust I am free! So I went up and plopped my twenty bucks down on your book!
I'm so glad I did. Marcus is next though! 
It should come as a relief to not be in control, and I'm getting there. A life's work. Thank you for sharing your story. Much Love to you!
It’s much easier to unsdretand when you put it that way!
I've heard joy explained the same way. if you practice joy enough, it will come second nature to you to feel that way and to look for it in your life, similar to piano players who have played for years. They don't think about the keys, they just sit down and feel it.
I like applying that image to trust as well. Thanks Keith!
healingishard75, I am in the same boat you are. Trusting is very hard for me and a real struggle. I learned at a very young age how dangerous it is to trust anyone. Until about 10 years ago, I pretty much kept everyone at arm's length and didn't let anyone get too close, because if I didn't, then they didn't have any power to hurt me. It has been very hard to learn to trust again, but, thankfully, God has put people in my life that it is safe to trust. I am getting better about it, but I still have a long way to go. I like what you said about the broken pieces and them not fitting together. I really struggle with that one too. I don't see myself as damaged goods anymore, at least. However, I struggle with knowing who the real me is. That is some stranger that I don't know. I feel like I have been wearing masks my whole life–as far back as I can remember. However, I know that God knows who the real me is, and I have to trust Him that He is going to heal me and that I will know who the real me is, even if I don't. There have been things that happened to me that I have blocked out the memory of. Part of me wants to remember because I think that is part of the key to healing, but part of me is also scared to death of remembering because of the pain it is going to cause. I do trust Him enough to know that He will be there to pick up the pieces if it His will that I remember what happened (after all, only He knows whether I could handle that or not). As my priest has told me, God took those memories away for a reason–in order to protect me. If those memories come back, it will be because He knows I am ready to handle it. As I've been told in the past, God will show me what I NEED to know. Luckily, if we are taking even baby steps, God is there to meet us and is so patient with us.
Sheila, I am looking forward to your posts on this topic, and since I get 3 paychecks in December, I am hoping to buy your new book on this. Your books have been such a help to me on my journey to healing, and your book "Honestly" has been such a help. I have read that one many times. You are proof that God can use the broken. We are never down for the count with Him. Everything that I have been through in my life will have been worth it if I can help even one person to see how much God loves them, even with all the brokeness and the sin. None of us is beyond His love and forgiveness–there is nothing that we could do that can put us beyond that.
Thanks for sharing that with me. My "trauma" happened just a year ago and I have told very few people. It has become my shame. I feel like all he left behind was a hollow empty shell and sometimes I wish he would have taken that too. I still feel sometimes like my I'm going to shatter into a million pieces because I feel so fragile and vulnerable. Im even afraid of God, and that devistates me. I pray God understands that and doesn't give up on me. I hate who this has turned me into. Emotions/feelings are so tangled up inside of me still. Letely I have had few brief moments where I am without a shadow of a doubt that God is holding me so gently. But then I overthink it, panic and run. I crave those still moments with God. I don't care anymore if God does or does not heal me, I just want HIM! That is all I need.
When God is opening wounds, it is very painful and it leaves you very raw. I am going through one of those periods now myself. It's not as bad as the first time (when I felt scraped raw inside and felt like I was in the middle of the ocean with no life preserver and no land in sight. But God brought me through, and He will bring you through too. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I have been recently laid off for the 4th time. As a single parent a lay off has a tendency to strike fear at the very core of my heart. I confess. I am struggling. He has provided in the past and I know he will even if we end up homeless he will still provide. I struggle though. It seems to be easier to trust Him with eternity then trust Him with things like paying the bills. Sounds so absurd but that is where I find myself at moments of weakness. When I do trust Him, my joy is restored and I look at this time of my life as an adventure, a turning of chapter, or a new season. Times like this I KNOW He is focused on me and is molding me to be more of a reflection of who HE is.
thank you for this post. i loved it. i am going to get the book. i know i need to work on trust.
On August 19, I finished chemo for ovarian cancer. I am consumed with fear that it will come back and I am having a hard time trusting God. I have a CT scan on Nov 19 and I really want to be able to trust that God is in control of my future. Sometimes, trust is so hard.
The constant echo in my heart from the Father is "Trust Me". When life doesn't make sense and the answers I want don't come, His response is always "Trust Me". I am learning but there are areas where I don't trust; parts of my heart that I keep from Him because I don't trust Him with them. It is hard to admit that outloud but I'm a journey to find out why so that I can lovingly give all of me to the One who loves me best of all. Thank you for this post. I look forward to reading the rest of this series.
It was only 2 years ago that I disclosed the sexual trauma from my teen years, not only to my therapist, but to my husband of 9 years. God has now given me amazing opportunities to blog and speak about it openly. If you would have told me that 2 years ago, I would have thought you were crazy. i couldn't even verbalize it to my therapist, much less a stranger.
However God moves in strangely powerful ways. I now find myself as a therapist and writer, calling myself blessed that I have a unique empathy for victims and depression. I can tell them it's okay to use antipdepressants, and no it doesn't make you weak because you have a chemical imbalance, and I take them myself. If you would have told me a year ago that I could now openly admit that, I would have said you were CRAZY. At the beginning of this journey, I trusted that God would take my pain and make it something beautiful. It hurt, it still hurts. But it hurts less as I learn to fear less and trust more.
.
Sheila, you are one amazingly phenomenal supercalifragilistic blessing upon my life. I have never heard anyone speak as directly from their heart as you do, you can just see the love pouring out of your eyes. Thank you for doing what you do
It’s hard to regain trust once it is lost.
trust is hard because it means you have to depend on someone other than yourself and your have to have confidence in that persons integrity and self worth and thats not easy in todays world where so many people who use and abuse people to there advantage and disgard them like trash even family can be your worst enemy when it comes to trust because i believe trust comes with unconditional love first and a sense of safety if not the foundation will crumble and you will be left bewildered and lost. personal experience has taught me to fear people and build a wall that I thought i never tear down however the loss of five close family members in the past year and a half and a prayer partner and freind showed me more love understanding and a measure of safety that my wall of fear has begun to fall. let me just say that childhood experiences and peer influences growing up left me with severe trust issues and personally you need to know that unconditional love that god shows and give us every minute of the day will help you through every aspect of your life if you able to believe he is the one true god who knows all and sees all.
I have been through so much in the last few years. Trusting God's sovereign hand is the only thing I CAN do. As I seek God's will for my life, KNOWING I am exactly where God has put me makes dealing with the things the enemy throws my way, to try to make me stumble, easier to deal with. Not that I don't ever stumble… all I can do is trust and give the sacrifice of praise. I can't ever fully trust any person, I have had far too many turn their backs or take advantage of me, …but God, I know his thoughts toward me are for my good and his good.
What if you have every reason in the world to not trust him?
I admire you and what you do. You are such a blessing to women everywhere. I comitted my life to the Lord at the WOF conference in San Antonio and am having such a difficult time hanging on. I do not come from a religious background and do not know things that would be obvious to many. Trusting has always been difficult and I feel like the pain is sometimes so loud and I don’t know how to listen to God speaking to me. How do we know when God speaks to us? How do we know where to begin finding the answers or how to interpret what he is telling us to do.
Hi Sheila,
Thanks for another great post! You probably know Max Lucado personally, but his book "Fearless" is also a wonderful resource for learning how to "trust more" and "fear less".
Thanks again for sharing!
Was on the car for 5 hours today n listened to this book on tape. Done with first 5 chapters. Loving it!
TRUST ITS A SMALL WORD IN NUMBER OF LETTERS, A HUGE JOB TO LEARN!! THANK YOU SHEILA FOR YOUR EXPERIENCE, LOVE AND FAITH!
I have a question Sheila, or rather more of a prayer request. I am working on a book called “secret sin” that is about using cognitive-behavioral-and emotional regulation strategies combined with deep repentance and forgiveness of self to attack the sins that we seem to repetitively fall into. Also Discussing the importance of accountability and bringing things into the light. However, I get disheartened and Satan keeps attacking my writing time and motivation. I know god has this on my heart to write, and I have blogged for almost a year now to see if writing was really an area he could speak through me in. I know he is leading me in this direction, and I’m following behind like a puppy dog. But if you have any advice or prayers for finishing what I am starting I would so very very very much appreciate it. I so look up to you.
I am utterly amazed to be reading this as I just admitted to myself that I do not trust anyone. I'm a high school teacher at a Christian school and we were having devotions this morning when the issue of being able to confide in someone and being held accountable came up. I realized that I had been hurt and betrayed so many times in trying to be open and transparent to other believers that I have completely put my guard up and am unwilling to share my life with others who could probably be used by God to help me overcome many issues that i still grapple with. This post shows me that I am right on target and that healing is on the way. Thanks, Sheila…
Powerful book. But after finnishing it, the same rality of hoplesness and discouragemnt bites. Nevertheless I stick your sentence “Whatever happens, believe” on the wall in front of me. Hard times I am muddleing through. It’s not everything so sweet as it looks in your book. 7 times in asylum comapared with your single adventure with mental breakdown puts me in a priviliged position. Perhaps I should also start writting? But I do not expect any happy end.
You ask if I trust the move of God in my life. My answer is Yes. But it is not a trust that has developed overnight it has taken alot of time. The last two years have been a whirl wind and I have lost everything that I believed to be important in my life. Only to find out that it is not as important as I once believed it to be.
When I learned to let go of my life and forget about what I had gone wrong then I heared Him tell me that those things we hold on to so tight are meaningless. You can be the richest person in the world and have nothing. Or you can be like me living off of donating plasma. Using your body to substain yourself. And finally coming to the realization that you have more than you thought you did. As time has gone on I have learned that the one person in my life that has never let me down is the one that I can trust. He says in Isaiah 49:16
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands: your walls are ever before me.
When you look at your life that way you begin to understand that man may and probably will let you down but God won’t. The battles we fight daily are won threw him. And apart from him we can do nothing. I stopped trusting in myself that day and moved on to trusting God.